Sparing nothing

I wrote this about a week ago in the Notes on my iPhone. xD I decided it was bloggable and so I typed it up here, editing it a bit. :P

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Somehow, even ALL the sin of the entire world -- past, present, and future -- is nothing but a mere drop in the infinite abyss of God's Mercy.

And the tiniest drop -- a finger-prick -- of God's Blood would have been, and is, enough to wash away ALL sin, enough to redeem the entire Cosmos.

Yet, He did not do that. He did not merely prick His finger and call it 'good', redeeming us with minimal effort and pain; He poured out His Blood for us throughout His suffering and Passion, He endured unfathomable pain and suffering -- more than we could ever know -- physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. He took the weight of the sins, ALL sin, of the entire world, onto His sinless shoulders. He went so far as to die a bloody, gruesome death for EACH and EVERY one of us. He didn't just prick His finger, He gave us His entire self; He withheld NOTHING.

That is how much He loves us. He could have redeemed us minimally, with the tiniest drop of Blood. No -- He chose to give us His all, to go "all out", to redeem us extravagantly, lavishly, sparing nothing.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15: 13

And we are called to imitate Him. This is how we are to love: giving of ourselves completely, utterly, pouring ourselves out, withholding nothing.

Yet we love in piecemeal, skimping and pinching and offering our crumbs, our least, our smallest. We are cheapskates, only begrudgingly relinquishing our meanest, smallest bit of self in love. We are cold and hard-hearted, small-hearted, closed-hearted misers. We are so lazy we don't even try. We are in a coma of self-indulgence and selfishness and self-centeredness. And we wonder why we feel empty, angry, sick, lonely, despairing, hollow?? We have been lulled into a zombie-like asleep existence. We are laden with chains and weights and shackles -- of sin, of lies, of hurt, of pain. Bitter indeed are your fruits, Satan.

I look at myself and see how far I have to go, how cheap and stingy I am in return to God's infinite lavishness of loving me, and I am humbled. I bewail the teeny, tiny maybe steps of progress, of actual improvement, and realize it will take a lifetime to become a saint. I feel like it will take many lifetimes! xD But this is how God works with us: baby steps, bits at a time. He never takes us beyond where we're ready (though He does challenge us so we will grow), and we should always be at peace knowing He has us where we need to be right now. If we never give up, and always depend on Him, we will grow in holiness. We must say anew every day, as if we never had any days before, "Yes, Lord," joining our voice with Mary's. She will teach us little by little, if we let her.

We were made by Love, out of Love, for Love, to Love. Only in giving ourselves away: to God first and then to others, will we find ourselves; only in dying to our selfishness will we come awake and alive, will we finally begin to truly live; only in emptying ourselves will we find our hearts full; only in hiding in His Wounds, His Heart, will we be stronger and more courageous than anything; only in surrendering completely will we be truly, intoxicatingly, exhilaratingly free.